Does it ever end?

I swear! The gray cloud that has been shadowing this family for the past 3 years has got to be getting thin. And worn out. I mean, enough IS ENOUGH!! What now, you wonder? More surgery for me. Oh yes, it's true. And won't this be fun. I am such a freak, I can't even get a hysterectomy and get it to take.

Almost 20 years ago now, I had a near total hysterectomy. All they left me was one ovary. Reason he left one ovary is because I was only 25 at the time and a 25 year old going through menopause would not be a very good thing. Well, freak of nature that I am, my body decided that one ovary wasn't good enough and it wanted TWO. So what did my body do? It grew the removed ovary back! Yes, it did! I did not know it was possible, but now I know that if even ONE cell is left behind, an ovary can regenerate itself.

Long story short, my doctor has been monitoring some functional cysts that I didn't even know I had that were discovered during a CT scan when I got my belly ache during a diverticulitis attack. The cysts were behaving themselves and infact they were even shrinking and of the three that were in existance, one had even gone away. All was looking great. So we relaxed and he said lets wait 8 weeks between ultrasounds this time instead of doing it every month since things are improving so well. HA!

Not so fast buddy, says my body. During the last 8 weeks I've been busy. What was 2 small almond and walnut sized cysts is now 5 cysts with 1 being the size of a baseball. 2 of the cysts are on the new ovary where none were 8 weeks ago. Not good. Out everything comes. Party time is over in there.

Am I upset. Yup. So much so that I had a major melt down right there in the doctor's office. Pathetic. It started off quietly. Just a slow sad ooze. By the time I got home, I was inconsolable. I am SO sick and tired of this. Since June 2003, I have been put under 5 times for surgery. I have been half put under 4 times for "proceedures" This surgery will make a total of 6 surgeries in 3 years.

I feel like my body is betraying me. Me. The one who always was healthy as a horse. Sure, I had my general run of cuts, breaks, sprains, colds, flus and infections. But NOTHING like this. This has got to be a record in anyone's book. I look like a damn hypochondriac. Oh hell! I am becoming...........NO!! SAY IT ISN'T SO...................I AM BECOMMING...............MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!

Right, like I chose ANY of this! Poor Tony! He sure did marry a dud didn't he? Bless his heart. Better or worse, sickness and health, sure got tested first rattle out of the box in our marriage didn't it? God, how I love that man. I don't know what I'd do with out him to take care of me.

I've got so much to do between now and Tuesday it's not even funny. I need to gather yarn for some projects...get my hair trimmed....go to the library for new books......buy groceries for the bottomless pits......strip the bed and put of the softest sheets for sweet recovery.......pack a bag.........shave.......uggghhhhh. I'm so glad that I only have about 5 rows left on Randa's baby blanket so I can get it off in the mail. I'll get it done tomorrow and mail it Friday.

I'm glad my house is in good shape and nice and clean so I won't have to go on a cleaning rampage before the surgery. I don't think I'd have time for that. That does remind me though, I've been wanting to get a couple new rose bushes and lavender plants for the flower beds. I'd better do that tomorrow before it's too late. After the surgery, I won't be able to lift anything over about 5 pounds for weeks......or drive for that matter. That SO sucks.