My Girls

Are they not just the cutest things ever?  I'm not sure if Malia was too keen on the big purple bunny, but I guess as long as sissy was there to defend her it was gonna be ok.  It is so hard to believe that she is 2 already!  My goodness it was just like yesterday she popped into the world.  And Heather, oh she is quite the young lady already.  Her school photo is so beautiful.  She is going to be an absolute knockout when she grows up.  She'll be one of those women that has that naturally beautiful blonde hair.  She won't need any peroxide. 

Out of the Dye Pot

I've been busy dying as you can see. The deep purple on the left and the red on the right is my own handspun yarn. The three skeins in the middles are Lion Brand wool. I intend on using these for a big felted bag for myself to carry my WIP back and forth to the ballpark etc. I gave away the last felted bag I made to my sister in law. She fell in love with it and wanted it, which was fine because it really wasn't as big as I needed it to be for a tote bag. I've got a few other colors in my stash already, so I think all I need is a nice bright blue and a good green and I'll be set. Whatcha think?

I'm trying to set myself up with some things to do during the recoup period. I have a few dishcloths I can make to get ahead of my monthly exchanges and I can always crank out a bookmark or two. I have yet to screw up the courage to make myself a sweater. I wish I had half the nerve my friend Twig does. She just looks at a pattern she likes and knits it. I think she is a magical knitter or something. Although here lately, bless her heart she has been stranded on sleeve island. Tsk.....I know the feeling. I didn't think I was ever going to get done with Tinley's blanket. I need to take a picture of that thing before it leaves. If I don't, I'll never see it again. I guess I better put that on the list for tomorrow.

Sigh......tomorrow is going to be a long day. I don't think I'll sleep much tomorrow night. What's the point anyway. We have to be at the hospital at 5:30am anyway so maybe I'll just wait to sleep on their time. Might as well, nothing better to do while I'm there.

Does it ever end?

I swear! The gray cloud that has been shadowing this family for the past 3 years has got to be getting thin. And worn out. I mean, enough IS ENOUGH!! What now, you wonder? More surgery for me. Oh yes, it's true. And won't this be fun. I am such a freak, I can't even get a hysterectomy and get it to take.

Almost 20 years ago now, I had a near total hysterectomy. All they left me was one ovary. Reason he left one ovary is because I was only 25 at the time and a 25 year old going through menopause would not be a very good thing. Well, freak of nature that I am, my body decided that one ovary wasn't good enough and it wanted TWO. So what did my body do? It grew the removed ovary back! Yes, it did! I did not know it was possible, but now I know that if even ONE cell is left behind, an ovary can regenerate itself.

Long story short, my doctor has been monitoring some functional cysts that I didn't even know I had that were discovered during a CT scan when I got my belly ache during a diverticulitis attack. The cysts were behaving themselves and infact they were even shrinking and of the three that were in existance, one had even gone away. All was looking great. So we relaxed and he said lets wait 8 weeks between ultrasounds this time instead of doing it every month since things are improving so well. HA!

Not so fast buddy, says my body. During the last 8 weeks I've been busy. What was 2 small almond and walnut sized cysts is now 5 cysts with 1 being the size of a baseball. 2 of the cysts are on the new ovary where none were 8 weeks ago. Not good. Out everything comes. Party time is over in there.

Am I upset. Yup. So much so that I had a major melt down right there in the doctor's office. Pathetic. It started off quietly. Just a slow sad ooze. By the time I got home, I was inconsolable. I am SO sick and tired of this. Since June 2003, I have been put under 5 times for surgery. I have been half put under 4 times for "proceedures" This surgery will make a total of 6 surgeries in 3 years.

I feel like my body is betraying me. Me. The one who always was healthy as a horse. Sure, I had my general run of cuts, breaks, sprains, colds, flus and infections. But NOTHING like this. This has got to be a record in anyone's book. I look like a damn hypochondriac. Oh hell! I am becoming...........NO!! SAY IT ISN'T SO...................I AM BECOMMING...............MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!

Right, like I chose ANY of this! Poor Tony! He sure did marry a dud didn't he? Bless his heart. Better or worse, sickness and health, sure got tested first rattle out of the box in our marriage didn't it? God, how I love that man. I don't know what I'd do with out him to take care of me.

I've got so much to do between now and Tuesday it's not even funny. I need to gather yarn for some projects...get my hair trimmed....go to the library for new books......buy groceries for the bottomless pits......strip the bed and put of the softest sheets for sweet recovery.......pack a bag.........shave.......uggghhhhh. I'm so glad that I only have about 5 rows left on Randa's baby blanket so I can get it off in the mail. I'll get it done tomorrow and mail it Friday.

I'm glad my house is in good shape and nice and clean so I won't have to go on a cleaning rampage before the surgery. I don't think I'd have time for that. That does remind me though, I've been wanting to get a couple new rose bushes and lavender plants for the flower beds. I'd better do that tomorrow before it's too late. After the surgery, I won't be able to lift anything over about 5 pounds for weeks......or drive for that matter. That SO sucks.

Thank You SP7!!!!!!!!

Well, earlier today I posted that nothing much had been going on and such. I went on about my business and tonite I came back to finally catch up on some email that had gotten WAY out of hand yet again. (I need to trim some of my yahoo groups!)

Much to my surprise I find that my SP7 person had sent me a gift certificate as a final farewell. I've never had the pleasure of shopping at KPixie, but I can sure say that thanks to her, I sure am going to now! Problems is, they have too much yummy fiber-y goodness to choose from! Uggghhh! This is going to be SO hard.

Thank you Susan, you have been a fabulous pal!

Nothing much to report

Nothing much is happening around here to write about. We survived spring break with no bloodshed so I guess that is a plus. I've been steadily working on the little baby blanket I've been knitting for Randa's baby. She's got her home now and the baby is doing pretty good. Apparently there is still some question about Tynlee's liver function, so they are doing some tests. We just pray that everything is ok and the worst case scenario won't be a liver transplant somewhere down the line. They really need a break and some GOOD news for once so let's hope for the best for them.

I'm still having a hard time dealing with Jeff's death. I find myself thinking about all the times we (our families) spent together and all the memories we made. Even Brandon called the other night and wanted to talk about him. He was really down about it all and was talking about how Jeff was like an uncle to him. It's so true....Jeff WAS the uncle to my son that my brother new was or will be. I talked to Judy a couple of days ago and boy, that was hard. She just is so lost and I just don't know how to help her. I don't know what she is going to do or how she is going to make it. She found out that she can't even draw his SS benefits until she herself is 60. I'm afraid she'll never see 60 to draw a penny of it. So, here she is, suddenly alone. The person she loved most is gone, 2/3 of her income is gone and she is so disabled that she has no means of inproving her financial situation. It so sucks.

Jeff's death has made me think alot about my own mortality alot. It's crazy. I'm in Walmart yesterday buying little stuff like deoderant and q-tips and standing there in line, I'm thinking to myself that now Jeff doesn't have to stand in another sucky Walmart line and wait for 3 days to check out. Pathetic. He is so much in my head right now that everything I see right now with spring blooming and new life growing, I think about him. It's made me really appreciate LIFE right now. I hope that I can keep the sweet appreciation, but lose the pain of grief along the way.

I'll post some pictures of what I've been spinning later. I've been doing pretty good I think. I dyed up a skein of yarn that a friend of mine, Twig, would really like. It came out kind of an interesting shade of olive bronze green.

Till then.......